Even as a child, I didn’t sleep like a baby. I think I already had Giardia at that point; I probably got it from the public swimming pool (chlorine doesn’t kill Giardia) or the drinking fountain at my elementary school, which had pipes older than my grandmother. People just didn’t understand parasites back then. I guess they still don’t…the CDC still reinforces the misconception that Giardia is only an intestinal condition whereas in fact it very quickly gets into the thyroid, brain and pineal gland and causes a host of other symptoms from asthma to migraines to, yes, insomnia.

I certainly didn’t have the understanding to put into language at that age the fact that I couldn’t get to sleep like everyone else did was because Giardia was clogging my pineal gland. Instead, I pretended to go to sleep, and then when everyone else in the house was asleep, I’d turn the light back on and read a book (there was no internet, this was the 1970’s). I read the complete hardy boys 2x and then moved onto other sets. Sometimes I was so awake I’d start and finish a whole book that night.

It got to the point where I couldn’t sleep until dawn, so I’d always sleep in until noon. This didn’t meet with a favourable reception in High School but in University, I’d pick afternoon and evening classes. When I finally had to be on an adult’s schedule, I’d force going to sleep. This meant I’d wake up in the middle of the night, usually from 2 a.m. to 5 a.m.. That went on for another 15 years.

It was only when I started eliminating my parasites, and when my sleep problem suddenly went away, that I realized how much of a problem sleep had been for all those years. That got me thinking about everyone else who sleeps poorly. I wondered if perhaps other people might benefit from what I’d stumbled upon, and improve their sleep like I did.

When I had the opportunity to start evaluating this issue in a clinical setting, the pattern became apparent. Sleep problems are always caused by parasites. The people who experience these problems fall into categories.

The Top Two Sleep Disturbers

There are two main categories. Those who can’t sleep because the pineal gland is clogged and those who have to wake up to urinate. The third category (back pain from an intestinal parasite) is less common and we’re not going to cover it in this context.

Cause 1: Clogged Pineal Gland

The pineal gland is about the size of a garden pea. It’s an endocrine gland buried deep inside your brain which influences your autonomic nervous system when your eyes are closed for extended periods (e.g. during sleep). When there is a parasite in (or near) the thyroid or brain (most often Giardia, the pork or dog roundworm, or intestinal and esophageal flukes) it sets off a chain reaction that ends up with a clogged pineal gland. Here’s the sequence of events:

Parasite excretes waste >>> Waste is full of Bacteria >>> Bacteria soak up heavy metals/elements >>> Pineal gets clogged with the bacteria/metal combo.

For this sequence to happen, the parasite doesn’t have to actually be in the pineal gland, just near it. The throat is close enough (e.g. a fluke in the esophagus or a roundworm in the thyroid area). Here’s a visual illustration:

New age art fancifully assigns the pineal gland the role of the so-called third eye and an extensive mythology has been built up around the concept, including how to stimulate and even detox the pineal. Here are a few misconceptions, which are not accurate:

Misconceptions about what clogs the pineal gland: NONE OF THESE IS ACCURATE

• poor diet
• exposure to toxins in the environment
• toxic foods we eat
• stress of modern life
• calcification (pineal gland gets hardened, then calcified and eventually shuts down)
• it is suppressed by electromagnetic fields (EMF) released by mobile phones and other wireless devices.
• the pineal gland is sensitive to fluoride in water and toothpaste

To be clear, it is possible that chemicals from your food or health care products (toothpaste, etc) can provide the necessary elements for the bacteria to soak up and clog the pineal with (usually cadmium or mercury, not fluoride or calcium), but this only happens when there is a parasite continually propagating that bacteria, so from a practical standpoint the parasite is the problem and if it were eliminated, you could consume all the same toxic foods & cosmetics and they’d do nothing to you.

How to Actually Cleanse the Pineal Gland:

You can address the problem at any one of three layers (metal toxicity, bacteria or parasite) but only the 3rd and final layer will produce lasting change that requires no further management.

1. Metal Toxicity: You can detox (remove) the specific metal that has soaked into the pineal gland. Each metal/element responds to its own binder, so for this to work, you’d need to know which metal is in pineal to begin with, and then which binder soaks up that metal. It has to be specific, no one binder soaks up all metals just like no one key fits in all doors. For example, chlorella may work on mercury but would not work on silver. If your pineal gland had silver, you would need potassium, or possibly barley greens. These correspondences need to be muscle tested in a way that identifies the correct binder, it can’t simply be memorized because individual needs can vary.

2. Bacteria: Taking antibiotics is popular when the symptoms of the Parasite>>>Bacteria>>>Metal sequence become acute, and it is still common in cases like this to overlook the cause of the bacterial overgrowth (parasites) or their effect (metal toxicity) and in some cases this approach is even appropriate. However, for a practical and largely proactive application like cleansing the pineal gland, antibiotics are not even a short-term solution due to the risk of creating an antibiotic-resistant strain of bacteria. Also, the secondary negative impact of antibiotics on your system renders them impractical for what would essentially be long-term use (long term, since the root parasite is never being addressed).

3. Parasite: treating the parasite is quick, simple and effective. It collapses the chain reaction, the bad bacteria die off and whatever metal they were soaking up falls out of your system on its own. The only factor to bear in mind here is that where multiple parasites are at work, it will be necessary to address them all.

Remember these concepts: parasites excrete bacteria, and bacteria make heavy metals stick to you. If you kill off the parasite you don’t need to worry about the bacteria or the metals. The only technical problem here is knowing which parasite you have. It could be giardia but then it could be more than one parasite overlapping to produce a complex set of symptoms all in the same brain region. Unfortunately guessing won’t help, there are about 20 parasites that can influence the pineal gland, and 1000’s of combinations of those 20. You’d need a muscle testing parasite screen to clarify this.

Cause 2: Clogged Kidneys/Bladder

Everyone at some time has had to get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. But when it becomes a habit, it means you have a parasite in your kidneys, bladder or both. It’s as simple as that.

Parasites can easily get into the kidneys and bladder. They are classified as tissue parasites (like the pork roundworm, for example). A protozoan parasite like Giardia or Entamoeba Histolytica can do it, but that would more often manifest as back pain or painful urination. When nightly trips to the bathroom are involved, it is always a metazoan parasite like a roundworm, fluke, or sometimes tapeworm eggs, which are well known to clog kidneys and bladder. If your symptom is quite bad, it either means you have a high parasite (or egg) count in that organ, or that there are multiple parasites overlapping to make the problem worse.

The reason this may come as a surprise (e.g. surprised that parasites can get into the kidneys and bladder) is that we seem to have some cultural misconception that parasites are only intestinal. In fact you can have parasites in your intestines, blood or organ tissue, or all 3. In addition, you can have a protozoan, a roundworm and a flatworm all in the same area (e.g. all 3 in the kidney). The higher your parasite count and variety in a particular organ, the greater symptoms and dysfunction you’ll experience in that organ.

The Pork Roundworm

For a kidney/bladder parasite, managing the metal or the bacteria won’t be effective; you’ll need to eliminate the parasite(s) once and for all. Their eggs may show up in a urine screen, if the lab tech knows what they’re looking for, but they wouldn’t show up in a stool sample because that’s a sample from the wrong region, if that makes sense. Similarly a kidney parasite wouldn’t show up in a blood analysis assessment, as the kidney doesn’t drain into the blood. Just like you may live next to your neighbour your whole life but never enter their house, a kidney/bladder parasite stays in the kidney/bladder for life and doesn’t (usually) migrate elsewhere.

I couldn’t resist posting a write-up I found on the Pork Roundworm (Trichina is the parasite, Trichinosis is the condition). Along with blaming the usual culprit of raw pork, which nobody is dumb enough to actually eat, it also proposes that you would have got trichinosis from eating Lions, Walruses, Opossums, Rats, Horses or Whales. …Really? I don’t know, maybe some people still eat rats or horses but when’s the last time anybody ate Lion, Walrus, Opossum or Whale? Correction, undercooked Lion, Walrus, Opossum or Whale… It’s this sort of nonsense that leads people astray. The last person I found the pork roundworm in got it from their soy sauce. I know this because they brought in the bottle and I tested it.

Interestingly enough, kidney/bladder parasites are also the primary cause of incontinence and bed-wetting. I think it’s interesting and a bit sad that we live in a society that finds it acceptable for teens, adults and seniors to wear diapers (when the need arises) but not acceptable to have an open conversation about a kidney parasite. When you consider that the average kidney parasite can be eliminated in 3 to 5 days of simple, symptom-free medication, the full absurdity of living with the situation becomes apparent.

But from a sleep standpoint, if that’s what’s waking you up it’s an easy fix: just get your parasites out. Finding them is not always easy as the muscle testing parasite screen I have developed is unique, and needs to be done in person. Not everyone can make it to British Columbia or Alberta, Canada to get tested and if you’re part of my international audience, which may not always be a practical goal. My suggestion is to focus on a urine parasite screen, it’s a good place to start but my advice is to not stop looking till you find the parasite because if you’re waking up to urinate, it’s in there.

Muscle Test for the Pineal

If you want to play around with this, it’s a simple enough muscle test:

Step 1: Have someone do a baseline muscle test on you to establish how much strength there is
Step 2: Close your eyes, have them retest
Step 3: If the baseline is still strong/positive, your pineal is balanced. If it’s not, your pineal has something wrong with it. That something is probably a parasite/bacteria/metal situation.

A Good Night’s Sleep

You’ll know you’ve got all your parasites out if you have the following experience sleeping at night:

1. You fall asleep within 5 minutes of trying to (e.g. reading in bed doesn’t constitute trying)
2. You sleep right through the night without waking up once
3. You sleep for a duration of 6 to 8 hours
4. If you had to set an alarm to wake up earlier than usual, there should still be the feeling that you slept the amount you needed
5. If there were dreams, they should have been emotionally balanced and centred, not tumultuous
6. If you actually drank a bit too much liquid before bed and there was the mild need to urinate, you should be able to hold it without discomfort and go back to sleep

In other words, you should sleep like a baby whatever your age. If you don’t, chances are you’ve picked up a parasite in one of the organs we’ve covered. Best to get it treated before it becomes a real problem.